I had such a swirl of emotion during that time of my dry run. I had always thought about doing a goodbye letter to my lungs but wasn’t quite sure about it. I talk about that here in this past post.
At certain intervals along the way when it still looked like it was going to be a go, I started talking to my lungs. Putting my hands over them & soothing and thanking them. Maybe that sounds weird to people, but it’s something like I felt I needed to do. I had a sense that even if they couldn’t articulate it or express it, they are a part of me and are feeling something.
They are overdue for a rest. Though it wasn’t the Saturday of my dry run, I think my body senses the time is really drawing near soon.
After I napped & worked through my exhaustion a letter came tumbling out. I don’t think I will post it here, or at least not now, but I may share it with some family and friends later.
I also asked a researcher for pictures if & when the transplant happens so I have closure.
It’s one thing to see them so beat up on CT but I somewhat really do feel a need to see them.
I know other transplant patients have done this & it’s brought them comfort in letting go too.
But for now, I’m happy “my girls” are still with me. They have a home here for as long as it takes & will always have a home here with me in my soul or elsewhere, always remembered.
Post transplant, I’ve met a couple of people that have had a “funeral” for their deceased heart. No tissue was actually used, obviously, it was more of a spiritual event.
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