I’m awake again, trying to drift off after being tired but too wired to fall sleep after an hour or so of tossing & turning.

I admit, quiet most of the time is not my thing for some reason.  If my space is quiet, my mind is not, or vice versa.

Something is always going it seems…

However, there are times I can really buckle down & focus.  I did when I wrote my novel in November.  (I’ve been procrastinating like hell in minor re-writes & editing though. I think it’s just because I’m not in the zone or under that 30 day race like I was during NanoWriMo. The words were just pouring out.  I know I’ll get back to it eventually.  I have managed to do at least 2 or 3 chapters, so it hasn’t gone completely undone.)

Shortly before the car accident in October, I had decided that it might be good for me to try & meditate. I was battling some excess anxiety & just needed to slow things down. I figured it couldn’t hurt to try some mindfulness to see if it made a difference.

I was on a decent roll with it up until the day of my accident & I could tell a definite change even in just the week or so I had decided to do it.

While I was recovering, the pain medication & headaches made it a tad harder for me to focus properly, so I left it alone.

Then I got distracted & didn’t pick it back up.

The other day I remembered I hadn’t done it in a while & should get back to it. I started over because I felt like I needed to.

I noticed the difference immediately after. I was pretty tightly wound before,  I felt more settled after that 10 minutes was done.

When I fired up the app I noticed new meditations. There were others I might try in the future that focused specifically on certain issues or topics. Maybe they weren’t new, I had just missed them before or didn’t remember them being organized that way. (Yet, the more tools the better.)

After I conclude this post, I think I’ll go back & see if there’s one for sleep.

The app/program I use for this is called Headspace.

(I know what you’re thinking.  Another app, Nic?  Really?  Don’t you have enough of those?)

Yes, but this one is worth it.  I also like running it on my laptop.

I found  Headspace on one of my transplant buddy’s pages. The description looked like it was geared towards people like me who weren’t sure if they could meditate or if it would work for them.

I told her about it after I started using it & how cool I thought it was.

It’s affordable too (though I will say I was lucky enough to find a discount code to defray the cost further after the free 10 day trial expired).

The meditations are easy to follow & not too long. They train in increments, so it’s not overwhelming.  As you progress they add on minutes but even just 10 minutes at the starting level goes by very quickly (even for me).

The meditations aren’t too hokey.   The visuals are pleasant & not distracting.  Something about it just works.

Even the few SOS 3 minute meditations I tried in October did help dial down my anxiety more than I expected them to.

I decided to pass this along in case it helps someone else quiet things down.

Also as a future reminder to myself that I have this as part of my self care toolbox.

I can fire this up easily when things start to feel a little overwhelming & overcrowded upstairs. Or if I need to wind down.