I’ve made a tough call.  I’m not abandoning my play, just setting it aside for now.

Reason for that is, I need something outside of living & breathing transplant 24/7 right now.

There’s still too much going on with my current situation for me right now for this project to be the catharsis I thought when I was planning it.  It’s too raw with everything happening outside NaNo world to write it right now.

I’m happy with this choice &  I’ll still work on it, but it’s going to take time & a bit more space.  It’s also going to require me taking a break from it until I get outside this bureaucracy of “stuff” the next few months.

I’m right at 11 months post transplant.  While I’m still doing ok in spite of my drop,  there are still more tests I need to pin down exactly what’s happening.  It will get figured out.

The good news is it doesn’t look like right at this moment it’s some horrid underlying infection or something that will require surgery, but it’s still going to take time to unravel.

I have to be OK with not knowing what it is & trying to move forward with what I have.

I’m also dealing with bureaucracy when it comes to Medicare & other things in planning out health coverage for next year. That has been taking a toll too, even though I have help with it.

My activism I had to cut short now for the time being too so I can do it in the future & to keep a balance so I don’t burn out with everything going on.  This is a lesson I learned the hard way years ago that I am not willing to repeat.

The current budget proposal has me greatly upset.  While I call and do what I can, I realize that is not helping matters.

There’s also more that I can’t & won’t share here because while I am open,  I do have issues I’m private about & keep to myself.

Writing has always been my escape & my fun. I worry when it ceases to be either.

So, I did not waste those 10,000 words I have in. I won’t waste any time I put in down the road in the future either (as I will pick this back up).

It was a learning experience & also helped me re-establish safe & healthy boundaries with my hobbies & life as it is now.

But right now, I really do need a distraction & escape from what’s going on outside of my writing.

Part of the reason I wrote fiction the last two years is because I could get lost in a made up world I created.

I can still rebel & will this year.

I just have to decide what’s going to make up the other 40K I know I have in me.

That said, I have to do writing that will bring back the fun.

I’m sure it won’t take me long.

I’m not afraid to start with a blank page & an idea.

I did it before when I picked up this challenge 3 years ago.