My most recent (unintended) stint in the hospital was full of craziness I had not encountered with past hospital stays (at least not to this degree). After my early discharge from the trauma center (against the recommendations of the lung doctor that was treating me & to my own personal chagrin), I went back that same night, a few hours later. I was so much worse for wear. My pain was not controlled, I had not slept much at all the prior 4 days, & I did not have enough oxygen support at home.  Luckily, my second stint (what they call a readmission) was at the hospital close to my house where most of my doctors have offices & where I asked to go to first but was told I couldn’t because they said it wasn’t a trauma center.  I received much better care.

It’s often known though that hospitals as a general rule are not places to rest, but this was quiet enough I could actually recoup without constant alarm fatigue or a lot of excess noise. It was a pleasant surprise.  That said,  I did have one experience where the noise was too much.

For 2 days straight down the hall by my room (near the elevators) 2 women had been arguing loudly.  I guess they must have been sisters because the few louder & heated utterances centered around “well dammit, he’s my father too”.

I mainly ignored it because it was only occasional.  Until the second day.

The second day I was freshening up. I could hear the exchange getting louder & louder.  The heat intensified.  Then I heard “You want a piece of me, bitch? Have at it. I dare you. Come at me.” It just went downhill from there.

This was screaming at this point. I was surprised that no staff had heard but I knew they were busy rounding.   The cat fight continued & the volume increased.

I had a splitting headache & was at the end of my rope.

So I stepped into my hallway and said “Shut the ___ up. ”   Then I heard, “See! I’m sure it’s my fault, like it always is.” & then a few more choice snide words & jabs.  I stepped out again & said “Shut the _ up. I don’t care who started it.  You both need to end it. There are other patients in this hospital trying to recover from serious __ too. Shut the __ up. Take it outside.”

Now, I know this could have turned out much worse for me & maybe wasn’t the brightest move.  I made sure I was still in my room so I could be clearly heard but not seen by them.  Had it continued, I would have rang for a nurse or security but I wasn’t going to buzz them over this. Besides, staff had already tried to quiet & move them once yesterday. I think they thought they were in an alcove or somewhere where they could get loud & not be heard. Or maybe they didn’t care. Who knows.  I only sunk to that level because there were no signs of stopping & the threats were growing.

But it must have done the trick.  I had radio silence after that. Peace at last for me & anyone else down the hall.

Good thing I can translate & speak gutterbitch when I have to.  Sometimes it comes in handy.

I can honestly say, people always think it’s alarms, vitals, machines & other things that keep people awake in the hospital. That is true, but sometimes it’s something else entirely different.   In those cases, one has to find their own mute button.