Food For Thought: Everything Doesn’t Happen For A Reason: An Examination

Some of the best exchanges I’ve had lately have come from impromptu comments during tweetchats or interesting Facebook shares. This also in combination of following other bloggers while I’ve been in this rehab facility recouping. Admittedly, I’ve been spending way more time online than I have been normally, but only by temporary default. This is due to various factors. Mostly health & logistics related. Also as I continue to bounce back, a degree of restlessness. This is ok though. Once my visitors slowed down because I was through the worst of the post-accident complications & pain; I’ve just been diving in as I can exploring, observing, listening to the chatter (outside this place) going on in the world.  I don’t think it is a bad way to pass the time.

The subject of this post comes today from one of my Gift of Life Stay buddies, yet again.

I hit it off with her immediately when she started talking to me one day during a HomeCook Heroes meal time.  I’m also good friends with the post-transplant friend she supports.

It’s a beautiful thing because I feel my best friend/main support & I have found our counterparts on this journey to cheer & comfort. We are getting started, they are on the post-transplant path.  They’ve hooked us up with resources & support which is great.  But above all:  We really seem to get each other as people.  We have a lot of common interests OUTSIDE this journey with the way we approach life that bring us together even more.  Very unique but poignant.

Our exchanges on the daily path might be short, or sometimes a bit longer, but they are always meaningful.  I look forward to more when all of us have a bit of free time for a good in-person hang out (or adult playdate for kids-at-heart).  It also makes this entire journey so much easier to travel.

We each have a buddy and mentor on our side throughout this journey now but also totally understand & appreciate our counterparts too.  We each possess certain qualities of each other in all 4 of us (to a degree),  I often think.

I preface this post with the above sharing because normally, I might have missed a blog post like this.

It resonated with me deeply because I have used these same tactics to bolster myself & try to make sense of my own experience over time.

If you would have asked me about this prior to my transplant experience, I might have even disagreed with Tim, (the writer), but would have appreciated his viewpoint. If for no other reason than because I like to keep an open mind & toss things around like this in my head from different perspectives & viewpoints. It’s in my Gemini nature to try and see both sides of a situation in most instances.

But now… I can’t say I disagree with him. Mostly for the same reasons he outlines. Also more recent experiences I’ve been through & have witnessed others go through have led me to do some thinking on this very subject.

Even if it didn’t ring true for me, it’s enough that I get where Tim is coming from. I can apply it to others as fully true.

My reasons for feeling this way are born out of some intensely personal experiences & feelings that I am not open to sharing here.  (I can reserve that right when warranted). There’s not much in my life experience that I don’t lay bare to some degree (and do so comfortably & willingly in the hopes of helping others); but some thoughts I just keep entirely to myself for my own reasons, (selfish or not).

Therefore, I will let Tim move people to arrive at their own truth.  Whether this rings true for them.

If not, at the very minimum, this blog post poses some refreshingly important food for thought to help provide comfort to a friend or loved one in a trying situation. Especially if we are at a loss of something meaningful to say that doesn’t sound like a pat reply that all of us hear & utter all too often. We utter these “cookie cutter” replies because we can’t make sense of things or find the right words.

As a friend recently pointed out when the phrase “Our thoughts and prayers are with you”, is used as a reply do people even really mean it? Do they actually make time to pray? Or do they say this phrase because they don’t know what else to say? Or do they respond with those words because that is the societal “accepted” & “safe” response to acknowledge the situation?

For some, Tim’s thoughts may sound harsh, or too strong a dose of tough love (which I understand too) but don’t dismiss them. Just look for the underlying message if the delivery makes you a bit uncomfortable. It’s worth it.


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